We still come across proposals that jump straight into product descriptions or, worse, start by waxing on about the vendor (e.g. "we've been around 150 years and are really big" or "we are really great to work with"). The former comes across like you're just flogging stuff you want them to buy and the latter like you are simply full of yourself. Neither helps put the customer in a receptive frame of mind. They are reading your proposal presumably because you have qualified that they have a need you might be able to help with.  This is foremost in their thoughts so go there up front and show you listened. If you acknowledge their needs quickly and then link them to your services, clearly showing how your services can help, you are more likely to get your message through. You will show you respect their business and will be better able to support them going forward.